I am living my own version of Groundhog’s Day.
At my first treatment, my nurse told me to keep a diary of my symptoms because they were going to be similar each time I did a course. I loved this idea as I am a planner from way back. Every treatment would be exactly the same and I would have no icky surprises to worry about!
Well obviously that’s an exaggeration. While the courses have been very similar, each one comes with it’s own unique road. So let’s play some catch up (I’ve already done four treatments!) and I can show you some of my chemo style and tips for each treatment I did.
Treatment 2: Don’t believe everything you read in Star Magazine
When I was a little girl, my grandmother had a subscription to Star Magazine. The flimsy paper pages lay piled in a basket by her bed and I couldn’t wait to lock myself in her room and dive into the Style section or the latest celebrity gossip. But the one section that always bothered me was the horoscopes. Now to be honest, I’ve never put much stock in the “stars” so it wasn’t the actual readings that gave me pause. It was my sign. Because of my July 23rd birthday falling on the cusp, I found myself in a section that was less than desirable for me: Cancer. “What an icky word for a sign,” I always thought. To be labeled a crab was bad enough but to add the name of an ominous illness felt like drawing the short end of the stick. And furthermore, the descriptions never seemed to fit me. So even though I never used the horoscopes to plan my life, I always felt mismatched with my fates.
Years later, I finally stumbled upon another publication revealed my cusp birthday actually puts me in Leo territory. “Warm, action-oriented and driven by the desire to be loved and admired, the Leo have an air of royalty about them. They love to be in the limelight, which is why many of them make a career in the performing arts. The Lions are always admired for their kindness and helpful nature. Big-hearted that they are, the Leo graciously showers love and affection on people. While they demand loyalty from the people associated with them, the Leos themselves are also loyal and trustworthy individuals.” This was all sounding pretty spot on. Of course there were negatives as well: “The Leos are opinionated and headstrong, and it takes a lot of convincing to make them change their stance. The Leo wants to be in control of situations and expect people to follow them. Their dominating nature may not go down well with everyone.They want to get things done and over with as soon as possible. But their impatience leads them to unnecessary anxiety and even failures and disappointments.” I suddenly felt like my position in the cosmos was starting to make sense. A performer who is fiercely loyal and loves her mane: check! Some impatience and strong will: Yup! I eagerly accepted my destiny as a Leo and never looked back.
I guess it turns out you can’t run from Cancer forever. About a week before my second treatment I saw this shirt at H&M and knew I had to have it. A cheeky nod to my “crabby” new life. I’m trying to take the Leo approach to this new phase: headstrong, immovable, and getting it over with quickly! I’m also surrounded by the people who love and admire me so I can’t lose. The shirt seemed to be the admittance that no matter how much you try to change your stars, sometimes there are other plans for you. So here I am, a mane-less Leo with Cancer. Who says you can’t have it all?!
This treatment started very similarly to the last one, even including me flying in from New York at the last second and plopping into the treatment chair. This time, however, I had an unexpected reaction to my chemo drug, Taxotere. I had a hard time breathing and swallowing and quickly developed a rash. We slowed down the drip but come to find out, I am allergic to something in the meds. I wasn’t aware of this, but this chemo comes from the bark of a Yew tree which my body apparently was not a fan of. After we got this sorted, I went back to sleep like last time and was woken up just in time to shuffle on home.
The symptoms came as usual, the nausea and pain, restless nights and general fatigue. I thought I had seen the end of it around 5 days later but that darn Yew tree reared it’s ugly head again. In addition to the reaction I was having, I developed something called hand/foot syndrome. Basically the chemo is making a mad dash out of my body, hence the hair loss and pore cleansing (which I am actually loving). But unfortunately, it’s escaping through my hands and feet as well, basically burning my skin on the way out. My poor feet were bright red with skin falling off them in droves. I spent two days with my little piggies wrapped in ice while my heels were so sore I couldn’t walk. This was an incredibly disheartening time for me since my mobility and energy have been a major saving grace for my optimism. But I lotioned and iced up a storm and after several days rest, I was actually dancing the night away at a wedding with zero pain. In heels no less! I oddly found the heels to be more comfortable since it put the pressure on the balls of my feet instead of the sore part in the back. So sorry, cancer! You tried but you just can’t keep me from Uptown Funk-ing my way through the dance floor. Don’t believe me? Just watch!
14 thoughts on “Chemo Style! Part 1”
Praying for you! You are a courageous lady and I love hearing reading your blog. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve always found it ironic that I’m a Cancer who had cancer- I was born a couple weeks early, and my due date was supposed to make me a Leo, but apparently the Stars had a different plan!
Krysta- I am a Leo with breast cancer 🙂 I have my fourth and final treatment Monday. I can identify with so much in your posts. I refuse to let my fabulosity be affected by this disease. Between self tanner, makeup and wigs I put on a brave face but when I look in the mirror in the morning I am shocked to see a version of myself that is frail and unrecognizable. I drag my self out of bed each day as a single mom ….on most days my muscles feel like they have been hit with a stun gun…repeatedly. Like you I chose this misery as opposed to the ten year hormone fruit and have had second thoughts over and over. I have stopped beating myself up and am not looking back. I can’t wait for Groundhog Day to over.
Cancer took my brother at 49 but I’ll be damned if it’s gonna take me. I am kicking its butt too girlfriend !
Darling Krysta, I so wish that you never had to experience any pain in your fight. You have great courage. I wish that I could do more than just send comments. Please know that I think of you often hope for all the best for you, & hope for the post that tells all your followers that you are well. Sending much love & hope. Susan ( JJ’s Nana}
A stunning and moving blog….
I was diagnosed with stage 2a and just finished my first round last week. I have found that if you wrap your nails in ice and suck on ice while your treatment of taxol is going it will help with hand, feet and mouth sores.
Hope it works for you!
You are AMAZING! In spite of it all you remain upbeat, positive and in good humor! I LOVE this about you. And it will get you through this nasty stuff. One day this will all be a distant memory. Good for you to keep this journal – it will one day be your first book! Keep fighting the good fight – you WILL WIN!!!
I am so moved by these blogs. you are always in my thoughts and prayers and I love reading about your stoic determination. God Bless you
I had done some research a while ago to find out why a constellation and a disease had the same name. I was expecting some deep interesting connection–but no. The only reason they’re the same is because a Greek physician way back in the day looked at a cancer tumor and thought it looked like a crab. The more you know!
I hope you are feeling better and you can enjoy this first spring weekend.
I love the crab shirt. Cool!
You amaze me lady! Love the crab shirt…you are truly an inspiration to so many. 🙂
I am sorrY to hear that you had a reaction to Taxotere, that was my chemo until my periphal neuoropathy was getting worse. Doctor changed me to Taxol but went from every three weeks to weekly. Less nausea which was nice because I was also not eating,. Continues prayers. ((Hugs))
I just started reading your blog. You are an incredibly strong & brave woman. I’m already touched by your life. I just found out today about your cancer & I am so sorry you have to go through this. You & your family are definitely in my prayers FOR SURE!
You were SO beautiful at the wedding! Seriously, stunning. Love you, Lindsay (& the Fuzz)